The Parent Meeting
by turbomagnus
Summary: Remember those parent meetings from your school years? The Teen Titans may not attend school, but unfortunately they still have parents...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: If I owned Teen Titans or Batman, I'd be the one living in a giant tower on a private island, but I wasn't last time I checked, so I guess I don't.

Author's Opening Notes: First off, Thanks to as a source for the information on some of the parents... This is most definately NOT a serious story...

* * *

"The Parent Meeting"  
by J.T. Magnus, "Turbo"

* * *

"Hello, my name is Angela Roth... well, it was on Earth, I now live in the realm of Azarath and go by Arella... My daughter is Rachel - Raven."

The large red being sitting on the other side of the room scoffed, "Your daughter? Last time I check she was OUR daughter."

The black and grey garbed man who by default hosted and chaired these 'parent meetings' shook his head, "Sit DOWN, Trigon."

The demonic entity glared and snarled for a moment during which the other didn't show any reaction, "Fine, Bruce Wayne, I will, for now."

Batman pushed his cowl back and let it fall onto his shoulders, "For our new members," here he nodded to Elasti-Girl and Mento, "I'm Batman... Bruce Wayne. My adopted son Dick is the Titans' leader Robin."

"Rita Farr and Steve Dayton... As members of the Doom Patrol we're known as Elasti-Girl and Mento... our adopted son is Garfield Logan, you probably know him better as Beast Boy."

At this, Trigon did something he rarely did; he laughed.

"Would you please tell us just what is so funny?"

"What is so funny? I do know of your son. I know of him because my daughter's Anger has told me that she is in love with him."

The last member of the group spoke up, "How is this funny? You know what I mean, correct, friend Bruce?"

Bruce put his fingers to his temples and began rubbing them, "Yes, Galfore... The only ones that DON'T know Dick and Koriand'r are in love ARE Dick and Koriand'r."

Tucker Stone shrugged, "At least they're attracted to teammates... My grandson's still seeing that sorceress girl, what was her name? Hex?"

That caused Bruce to think of Selina and feel slightly annoyed, "What about it?"

Tucker raised his hands in a gesture of defense, "Nothing. I'm not my son, however Victor wants to live his life is how Victor can life his live, I mean live his live, I mean... oh, you know what I mean."

Arella turned a glare on Bruce that matched any that he himself could do, "Cut it out, Bruce... I swear, with me and that demon, three costumed heroes, two vaudeville actors, and a nanny for guardians, it's a wonder that the Titans turned out as good as they did."

"There's that word I hate again, 'good'," Trigon grumbled...

Almost as one, the other seven guardians spoke up, "Oh, shut up, Trigon..."

* * *

Author's Closing Notes: Although Cyborg's grandparents and Raven and Beast Boy's parents are based on the comics, Starfire's 'parent' is Galfore from the cartoon since appearantly her parents aren't around in the series... Robin's guardian is Batman, enough said. I apologize for the lack of face time some of them got... Unfortunately, I don't know as much about Galfore, Cyborg's grandparents, and Elasti-Girl and Mento as I do the others.

Before anyone asks for a sequel to this one, it was started as a ONE-shot, if you want more to it, I'll need some ideas, people...


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Same as the first chapter, I don't own the Teen Titans, Doom Patrol, Batman, etc... Just some copies of a few comic issues.

Author's Opening Notes: All those boyfriends, girlfriends, fiances and fiancees out there that have ever had to meet your partner's parents, a lot of this will probably seem familiar, this chapter's for you.

Everyone else? Blame Nort the Nickel Loving Llama Duck67 for the idea for this chapter...

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"The Parent's Meeting"  
'Chapter Two: Dropping In On The Kids.'  
By J.T. Magnus, "Turbo"

* * *

"I REFUSE to do this!"

The teenager crossed his arms, "Trigon, you know that line you're not supposed to cross with the author?"

The other guardians of the Teen Titans looked on as the demon and the writer glared at each other. Finally, Elasti-Girl shook her head, "He's coming up on it?"

The Author smirked, "Nope, look behind him."

True to The Author's words, a golden line with the words Do Not Cross was three feet behind Trigon.

A snarl came from the red demon, "I do not CARE! I am not taking any further part in this warped story."

The Author leaned forward, "My story, or I'm turning you over to Raven's Happy and Love... your choice."

For those that don't know, few things scare Trigon The Terrible like his daughter's more positive emotions, or more specifically, the realms they inhabit in her mind.

"I'll do the story... at least it will be a quicker demise."

"Good choice."

* * *

Raven's eyes shot up as her mediation was interrupted, "Oh no, he's here."

Scattered around the living room, the other four Teen Titans turned to look at their gothic teammate.

"Uh, who's here, Raven?" Beast Boy asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't ask questions, Beast Boy, just run," Raven said with as much urgency as she could without showing emotions.

"Who's here? Why do I need to run?"

"It's too late," she whispered as there was a booming knock on the door to the Tower, then the sound of the computer saying 'access approved, welcome Batman.'

Robin tilted his head from where he and Starfire had been playing Life, against each other at first, but after reaching the church in the game it had become a cooperative venture, "What's wrong with Batman coming?"

"It's not Batman... it's who's with him..."

The door to the living room slid open with a red figure with white hair and four eyes, literally, four eyes, not the old schoolyard taunt regarding glasses, but four actual eyes, standing there. The words he spoke chilled Raven to the bone...

"NOW, where is this Beast Boy I've heard so much about?"

* * *

Even though he had once seen an image of Raven's father when her Anger took his form, Beast Boy quickly realized something; Anger's form of Trigon was nothing compared to the real demon.

And right now that demon had dragged him down to the shoreline of the island the Tower was on.

"Tell me about Terra."

Beast Boy gulped and silently prayed to every deity he knew of from living in Africa and America, "Te-Terra?"

"Yes, Tara "Terra" Marakov, the blonde you like more than my daughter," Trigon said with the typical fatherly attitude of 'you-don't-want-to-hurt-my-little-girl'.

"I don't like Terra!"

"What about the time you nearly mauled her on Halloween?"

"Dude, she had on a dark wig and cloak, I thought she was Raven!" Beast Boy blinked, groaned and put a hand to his head in resignation, "... Did I just say that outloud? To Raven's father? To Raven's scary, demon father?"

"Yes."

"Uh, well... uh..." He suddenly remembered a line from a TV show, "Can I help it if 'chicks dig the fuzzy dude'?"

"Nice try, Green One."

* * *

In the Tower itself, Cyborg was wishing his grandfather hadn't let that little fact slip about him dating Jinx. Now Robin was on one of his 'You're dating a villianess' rampages.

Finally, the half-man, half-machine teenager looked to the sky and shouted, "SOMEBODY SHUT HIM UP!"

Again breaking the fourth wall, The Author stepped into the story and leaned over to Cyborg.

"If he keeps giving you and Jinx trouble, just say two words: 'Selina Kyle'."

Bruce picked up on what was being said and winced, thinking that Dick would be in for it. After all, you can't really complain about your teammate dating a bad girl when your father figure did the same thing...

"So, did you read that one fanfic?"

"Yeah... Authors are evil... uh..." Cyborg suddenly remembered just what who he was talking to was.

"That's alright. I've never met an author who wasn't, present company included," The Author answered.

"If you wish for Koriand'r's Friend Robin to leave Koriand'r's Friend Cyborg alone, there is a Tameranian tradition that we can have him take part in, testing his suitability for marriage to Koriand'r."

At Galfore's words and Starfire's... expression, Robin got the proverbial deer-in-the-headlights look.

"I'm... gonna shut up now," the Boy Wonder muttered, turning red under his mask.

"Let's see... Gave Cyborg ammunition against Robin, made a smart-aleck remark, and watched as Bird Boy was embarrassed out of his cape... Yep, my work here is done!" The Author stepped back out of the story.

Bruce shook his head, "There's not stories like this over in my show's section, are there?"

Raven shrugged, "You'd have to ask him, we're all characters, just like you," the half-demon paused a minute, "I wonder if he's killed him yet?"

"Trigon killing Beast Boy?"

"No, The Beast killing my father. The least he could do it let me know so I could watch... and tape it."

"That's dark, vengeful, and just this far away from evil..." There was a long pause, "...I'm impressed."

Five minutes later, Raven was wishing that either of them had killed the other... this was torture...

Idlely, she wondered if the organization her cousin Anung worked for needed another demonic agent in its ranks. It'd probably be better than watching your father - who was red - and your teammate - who was green - wearing yellow suits and making comments like "Ssssmokin'!" and "Ssssomebody sssstop me!"

It didn't help that her mother and her other teammates were laughing - LAUGHING! - at them!

And her emotions too!

'Why are you ALL laughing? Happy and Rude I can understand... but Knowledge? Timid? ANGER!' That last one surprised her the most.

'What? He may be an idiot, but he's a CUTE idiot.' Affection spoke up, quickly seconded by her sister emotions.

'Et tu, Anger?'

'When I consume you and destroy the world, I think I'll let him live and make him my consort. He holds plenty of rage...' Raven could almost see her red-clad emotion licking her lips, 'And when he let's it out as the Beast... yummy.'

Rude chuckled, 'Think between the two of us we can make her jump him? ...Wouldn't that blow Mother's mind...'

Affection shook her head, covered in a cloak that was a lighter shade of green than Courage's, a shade similar to that of one of Raven's teammates, 'Rude, you have no sense of romance.'

'Hey, romance is your department. Lust is my department, so stick to your's and leave me to mine, okay?'

'ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!' Raven yelled, just barely keeping from doing so outloud. Even so, a nearby Gamestation disc cracked, then shattered.

* * *

Author's Closing Notes: For another incident of the Titans playing Life, find and read "Life" by AnimeKittyCafe, ironically, I came up with the idea of Robin and Starfire playing a game of Life and teaming up on the Get Married space one night and the next day I read that story.

If anyone's wondering, the organization and 'cousin Anung' I mentioned are the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense and Hellboy (That is, Anung Un Rama)- another demon/half-demon born of a demon father in human disguise and human mother, according to the bio on the DVD.

The yellow suits and comments were Trigon and Beast Boy pretending to be... The Mask. It's Beast Boy's fault! He made me write that scene!

And before anyone says ANYTHING, I just though Lust would fall under Rude's area since lusting after someone isn't exactly a 'polite' thing to do, and I like the idea of Affection/Love's cloak being the same color as Beast Boy, the one she loves instead of the lavender/violet/purple shades everyone else uses.


End file.
